Sister Space

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

By Cassie X | Last updated: May 22, 2014 - 6:14:12 PM

What's your opinion on this article?

flowers.jpg

An old adage says, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” 

Behold means to observe, to look at, according to dictionary.com. Who is the beholder?  Is it the man walking down the street giving you a quick wink of approval? Is it the one that gives you a smile from ear to ear to show they definitely like what they see?  Is it the man who gives you that long uncomfortable gaze when you pass him by?

Is the beholder someone else or is it actually self? 

sister-space-logo_300x225_50.jpg
When we look in the mirror before presenting ourselves to the world for the day, whose face is staring back at us? When we get dressed whose approval do we seek initially?  When we comb our hair who is the one who shows us where every curl, braid or ponytail should lie? Self. Who is the beholder? You are your own beholder.

We help determine what others see in us. We help determine how others treat us with how we see and treat ourselves. We can command respect or inadvertently gain pity. But no matter what, we set the tone before anyone else has a chance.

Someone tells you how beautiful you look one day and your response is “thank you.” But you are wondering, in the back of your mind, what did they see versus what I already saw and told myself this morning before leaving home?

We are our own worst critics. What is it that makes us do this undue damage to ourselves? 

When someone else sees the beauty in us, we wonder why as we fail to catch just a glimpse of what someone else sees. How do we rate ourselves and what makes us so self-critical? It is not a very realistic rating scale but one created over years of negativity pushed into our minds. The beholder of this beauty has been blinded by self thoughts of worthlessness because of an improper understanding of who she is. Allah has created us exquisitely to be just who we are … beautiful. 

We are not ugly, “B’s” or “hoes,” nor we are any man’s punching bag, nor should we be lashed by the tongue of a verbal abuser. We are not to be unjustly controlled or dominated, but respected and honored. 

We are not playthings, the other woman or door mats. We are beautiful and we are the beholder of this beauty that is within us. That is why whenever an M.G.T., a woman in the Nation of Islam, compliments another sister she receives a beautiful response: “I am a reflection of you.” I did not really understand—until I kept receiving this type of greeting—just how powerful and uplifting this truly is. You mean to say that the compliment I give my sister is a reflection of the beauty that is within me?  So what I see in my sister is what I see or should see in myself? All Praise is Due to Allah! 

So tell me, sister, what makes you beautiful? Ask this question when looking in the mirror the next time instead of first pointing out the flaws in your face or the potential bad hair day you think you might have. 

Reaffirm yourself and reclaim your beauty!

(Cassie X Jones is a member of the Nation of Islam’s Muhammad Mosque No. 74 in Indianapolis, Indiana.)