Sister Space

Woman thou art loosed

By Laila Muhammad | Last updated: May 17, 2014 - 10:02:02 AM

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“Do not brood over your past mistakes and failures as this will only fill your mind with grief, regret and depression. Do not repeat them in the future.”
~Swami Sivananda, Indian Philosopher

What is meant by the phrase, “your reputation precedes you”?

When you meet someone for the first time, why do you ask about the circle they run in? You want to meet their friends, their family, co-workers, and anyone who has ties to them to find out all about them. We have a desire to find out as much about a person as possible, we want to make sure the answers they give us coincide with what others tell us about them. We vet their inner circle to find out about their past relationships and to try to predict future behavior. We want to know what went wrong, what went right, and why the relationship didn’t last.

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Most times we come to a conclusion about a person just from what we have heard others say. You know those persons whose intentions might not always be pure. You know, “they” the infamous, proverbial “they” who will give you the 411 on a person, for the sake of you having all the necessary info to make a wise decision. We end up doing each other a disservice when we enter into relationships, business endeavors, and friendships, because we are already on the defensive. I’ve never really played basketball, but in watching the games; I don’t see how the team playing defense really scores points. Most points and wins are scored on the offense.

How many people say, when meeting you for the first time, “your reputation precedes you”—actually mean I heard good things about you, and they seem to be true? No, most often, it’s that I heard about your bad reputation, your infractions, your weaknesses and your mistakes, so I’m watching you carefully. I’m not saying don’t do your homework on people. We are creatures of habit, and most times we have an aversion to change and are usually set in our ways.  So you can use deductive reasoning to make wise decisions about a person.  I’m asking us to question everything, and get to motives when people give you news about other people. How much better would our relationships be if we shared the good deeds people did and not their mistakes?

 If someone has a history of being an abuser, of course you as a sister wouldn’t just let some unsuspecting sister walk into that. But just because a person was one way with you doesn’t mean he is going to be that way with the next spouse. Different people bring about different things and responses in the same person. I know of women, who before coming into the knowledge of themselves, were very promiscuous in the world. But when they met the Redeemer, the Bright and Morning Star, the Lamb of God, the Comforter, the Good Shepherd and the Light of the world, the one who has the ability to make all things new, they became good wives, great mothers, and dedicated followers. The Prince of Peace has reformed prostitutes, drug addicts and dealers, pimps and prisoners alike just from a word.  He has the power to reform you from whatever ails you. “And when Jesus saw her, he called her to him, and said unto her, Woman, thou art loosed from thine infirmity.”(Luke 13:12). Infirmity is defined as a physical weakness or ailment: lack of strength, a moral weakness or failing.

So nobody has the right to be a judge over another person’s life. Your story is still being written, and while you are here but once in this life, you have the awesome opportunity to change for the good. No matter your past, you deserve love, happiness, peace of mind, contentment of heart, and a good spouse that will give you that and more. You just have to strive to be the type of woman who deserves it. And it stands true, that “to whom much is given, much is required.” Today, right now, you have the power to change the direction of your life. Today can be the first day of the rest of your life, if you truly and sincerely work on self-improvement. You are the second self of God. You have such an important role in his kingdom here on earth. So work hard, because big fields await the wide awake man and woman to work out in. Yes, it’s hard work to be the Best You every day, but aren’t you worth it? The Holy Quran, Surah 9:42 says, “Had it been a near gain and a short journey, they would certainly have followed thee, but the hard journey was too long for them. And they will swear by Allah: If we had been able, we would have gone forth with you. They cause their own souls to perish; and Allah knows that they are liars.”  

In a lecture titled “A Proper View of the Woman in Building the Family,” Minister Louis Farrakhan states, “Dear and beloved Christians, it was a woman who attended the birth of Jesus, yet, Christianity does not begin at His birth. There were women who ministered unto Jesus—washing His feet, comforting Him and following Him, yet, Christianity does not begin with His Ministry, but Christianity begins at a place called Calvary, where, according to the scripture, this Messiah was put to death. It is there, at that time, at that place that Christianity begins, and, who was present at that place? Most of His Disciples had run away except John, and he was at a safe distance, but, it was His Mother Mary and another Mary who were at the foot of the cross when Jesus uttered these words, ‘Woman, behold thy son.’ It was women at the tomb who saw that the tomb was empty and ran to tell the Apostles that Jesus was raised. If anyone should have a high place of honor in the life of a Christian, in the life of a Muslim, as well as in the life of a Jew, it should and must always be Mother.”

I pray that Allah (God) blesses us all with the strength to be like the “Mary’s” of the scripture, and tools to rise to be the gods He desires us to be. May he Bless us to find mates that will help us on our path to discovering our purpose in life, and the means to heal from our pasts. May we never look back in life with regrets, and understand that every knock is a boost. As the Author George Bernard Shaw famously said, “We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.” 

Laila Muhammad is a Chicago-based writer, videographer and Final Call production assistant.